DVD Commentary Meme

[mildmaythecat]

Stolen from nthcoincident. ♥

Pick a paragraph or any passage (preferably around the 500 word mark) from any fanfic I've written, and comment to this post with that selection. I will then give you a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the character's heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the fic, lots of awful puns, and anything else that you'd expect to find on a DVD commentary track.

(In other words, I shall be trying desperately to make it seem like there was some thought process behind my writing. Don't expect too much. xD;;)

Comments

[morena238.livejournal.com]

You know, this is probably kind of mean, but I just really really want to know what Itachi was thinking etc when you write this in "from here to eternity"

Shisui turns and Itachi freezes.

"Your…" Itachi blinks and pauses for a moment to compose himself. "Your eyes."


and if you don't feel comfortable doing that because it's too short, you could also do it with this passage:

The rest of that night and every minute of the following days are spent in nonstop trial-and-error training with the Sharingan. A medic ventures over to Shisui's spot on the practice ground more than once to shove food down his throat, and eventually asks Yashiro to intervene before his precious commodity kills himself.

Yashiro imposes a more effective training regime, using his own spare time to teach Shisui what he can-which is plenty. Shisui then practices whatever is taught until someone is sent to order him to rest or eat.

By the end of week five, Shisui is utterly exhausted both mentally and physically, but he can feel it. Now, he will earn his way to the front. All he needs to do is prove himself to his commanding officer.

The 'exam' is straightforward, and the bottom line is that Shisui passes. Narrowly, but Yashiro is satisfied enough to allow him a transfer.

"Your control is still not perfect," he says grimly, "but it would appear that we cannot afford to continue wasting time. The troops at the border are being hammered hard-not that this is anything new-and every help is needed."

Shisui swallows. 'Hammered'. If Yashiro's using a metaphorical term, how bad does it have to be?

"Iwagakure has sent one of their best to pressure those at the front," the older man continues. "Some sort of bomber, but a uniquely skilled one. This means we all have to pay extreme caution-watch for mines and aerial attacks, especially."

"Understood." Now let me go already.

"And one more thing." Yashiro eyes him levelly. "Try not to get yourself killed."

Despite everything, Shisui grins a little. "Duly noted."

Five weeks. It takes five weeks, in the end, which feels about four weeks and six days too long.

[emanga.livejournal.com]

I can honestly say that I didn't expect somebody to pick that snippet. xD Okay, let's see...

I think Itachi was just in shock for a second there. If I'm remembering correctly, Shisui's shiny new Sharingan is activated at that point because he hasn't figured out how to control it yet. So basically Itachi's best friend vanishes for a week and when Itachi sees him again his eyes are someone else's. Metaphorically, anyway, since they didn't physically pluck anybody's eyeballs out, but I think anybody would be pretty shocked if their friend had bright red eyes all of a sudden. Never mind the fact that the original owner of said eyes is probably rotting somewhere. >.>

It probably also hammered home the fact that things were not looking good at that point in the war. Itachi being his prodigious little self, he likely didn't need the reminder, but he got it all the same and it wasn't very welcome. So yeah, I'd say Itachi's heart kinda dropped into his stomach when he saw Shisui's eyes like that.

As for the other snippet...I am so embarrassed that someone actually picked that out, because to be honest it was only intended to be a transitional thing. Like one of those "training montages" in movies, you know? I guess it also served the purpose of showing just how panicky Shisui was over the fact that Itachi was out serving on the frontlines and he could do nothing to help him. He's desperate to get out of the outpost and start doing some good. Hence the self-torturous Sharingan homeschooling. xD